I wanted to do a post about how my Saturday was spent but i didnt really have the mood to and being an extreme procrastinator, i think i'll do it when life is back on track.
Its not exactly off track, but the time to start thinking about my career path and future plans have finally arrived. Ive been secretly hoping this day never exist because i love being in this company, i love my boss, i love my team, i love the people im liaising with, okay maybe some, but i just love my job. I know it sounds weird, cos im always whining about how bored i am at work but i guess its true, you'll never appreciate something until you lose it.
Sidenote: I havent exactly lost my job. well, not yet.
I was very enthusiastic at this cross section where i need to think about my next step, until having a pretty long chat, i kinda feel very demoralised and a little upset. I dont really wanna go in detail about my thoughts, but the fact that you're so enthusiastic about something but somehow, something is not enthusiastic about it, sucks pretty much.
You know what im saying? I think what i said just doesnt make sense but i dont know how else is the best way to put it without letting anyone know what im trying to say.
I did a little bit of calculations and realised, money is a bitch.
I really hate to plan, because nothing i planned ever happens. So why plan? Just let it happen, when it happens. But me, being me, cannot just sit back and let it happen, so i keep trying to make it happen the way i plan it to be but in reality, life doesnt always go the way you want it. So seriously, why plan?
Like i planned to go BKK in May but they had to start rioting though its ok now but i totally dont feel like going anymore so we changed the location to HK which is not safe because of H1N1 so seriously, planning sucks.
I just need to get away, go on a holiday and relaxxxxxx............. but i think im going to stop my holiday craze, stop shopping (no more LVs and Loewe this year, there goes my planned Chanel and Rolex), save save save and save for something that something is not enthusiastic about. pffftt
I am really tired right now, so i might not make any sense and i had a really bad day today so i just feel like going on and on ranting about anything and everything.
Have i already mentioned i hate growing up? Gawd, im only 22 .. why am i going through things like that... its not time for me to go through what i am going through yet. 22 is the age to play, have fun, do crazy things, make mistakes and learn from them to be wiser, and play, have fun, do crazy things and ya, play. But here i am, fretting about every other things. Uber annoying.
And i also learnt that you can never be too nice to people. They take you for granted, bite you back like a dog, totally unappreciative of what you've done as if you owed them and it was something you should do for them. Seriously, wtf?! It doesnt pay to be kind, i totally learnt my lesson.
Its 5.30am and i planned to sleep at 4. See how i always say that planning doesnt work? Fck plans, really.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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